How the splits is more than impressive hip flexibility
If you’re not a dancer or contortionist, is there a reason to work on your splits? Well, yes, and it isn’t about becoming flexible enough so Instagram pushes you to the top of the algorithm, or to have your nose go past your knees. In splits training, not only are you working on your hip flexibility, which is super important, but you’re also showing your body an act of self-love.
Progress over Perfection
Working on your splits, or any form of flexibility for that matter, is not a test. There is no pass/fail here; this is just a practice in patience. To show up to stretch is about choosing yourself, choosing looser hips, less pain bending down, 15 minutes that just belong to you.
You know the saying “progress over perfection”, but seriously, it is a good saying. Small wins matter, and celebrating incremental progress (no matter how small) is self-love in action. You’re showing yourself self-compassion for pushing aside the “I can’t do ___ yet” line, and bringing the “I’m improving every time to come to the mat” to yourself.
Related: From Stiff to Serene: The Stress-Relieving Power of Stretching
Listening to Your Body in Splits Training
Over in the world of Flexibility with Vera – we care a lot about the mind-body connection, and the splits can be a wonderful way to help you really tap into that mindful side of stretching. Because the splits and stretches to help you get your splits can feel intense, it forces you to tune into your body: Where’s tight? What needs a bit more love today? What is feeling good? By doing this, you’re building trust in your body and telling your nervous system, “hey, it’s ok, I got you, you’re safe”.
In one systematic review looking into the neurobiological effects of mindful movement found that our brains are changing when we focus in on our bodies, and shown over a long time ,mind-body exercises actually reverse age-related neural degeneration (as in, there is a delay in aging in our brains)!
When we are creating that mind-body connection, it is important that we also honour the signals our body is telling us, and never push through pain, which is another form of self-love in a culture that tells us to push through pain, no matter what.
Creating Your Own Ritual of Care
When we look deeper into splits training, it does become a personal ritual. It involves creating consistency, because without it your training would not take you far to feel deeper stretches, or try new ways to do the splits, whether it is just 15 minutes before bed, or setting up a cozy space to get into your stretches.
When you’re stretching for your splits, oftentimes you will be using props: blocks, blankets, bolsters, to help support you, just as you would in a personal sanctuary, you have things nearby that support you physically or mentally. Not to mention this is all about slow movements and deep breathing, and when put together gives your nervous system a chance to regulate and move away from fight or flight mode, and into rest and digest.
As with any personal ritual, there isn’t one right way to do it, it is all about what feels good in your body.
Hip Flexibility = Emotional Release
The main reason that splits are a more advanced stretch for many of us because it revolves around our hip flexibility. With how our society is now, we sit a lot, leaving our hips in a position where some muscles get long and weak, while other muscles become short and weak, and other muscles just aren’t being used.
Our bodies hold stress well; we feel it in stiffening joints, tightened muscles, headaches, digestive issues, and a long list of other issues arising. If we use the example of the jaw, we can tell it holds stress when we find ourselves clenching our teeth, and to release it, we usually open our mouth, maybe even massage it, and our jaw releases that stress. It’s the same for the hips, only we’re not opening them, or massaging them, or really, doing much for them.
When you’re working on your hip flexibility (which, for the splits, you definitely are), some of these stress-relieving stretches can bring a lot of feelings out. Crying in pigeon pose? Yep, been there, done that, and let me say: give yourself permission to let go. Physical release gives your mind a chance to release and process what it has to process.
Related: Unlocking the Power of Open Hips
The Destination Doesn’t Exist, It’s All About the Journey
You don’t need a perfect flat split for this to be worthwhile. Heck, even I can’t get a flat split every day. Your body will be different every day in reaction to your stretches, so being hard on yourself helps no one. What you have to do is recognize the magic of showing up, adjusting however you need, and trusting your body to know what is best in that moment.
Training for your splits is all about self-trust, patience, and feeling good in your body through this form of hip flexibility training. Self-love isn’t about a future you who can do the splits, it’s about the present you choosing to show some care to your body.
If you’re ready to start your own flexibility journey rooted in self-care (not self-punishment), my Split it in Two program is designed exactly for this. It’s 14 days of guided splits training that meets you where you are, with modifications, props, and zero pressure to be “perfect.” You’ll build the foundation you need to work toward your splits at your own pace, with research-backed drills that actually work.
Plus, when you sign up for Split it in Two, you’ll get access to my Love Your Hips Workshop happening in February 2026, where we’ll dive even deeper into hip flexibility, pleasure, and caring for your lower body.
